Movie Reviews

Star Wars

Science Fiction Thriller, basically the story of WWII retold this time in space and with added robots and a wide assortment of characters throughout the vast galaxy. Good triumphs over evil.

However many questions remain unanswered

If Darth Vader built C-3po why doesn't he recognize him in "Empire Strikes back?"

How does Darth Vader get back to the Empire when his ship is spinning out of control at the end of Episode 4?

What happened to diversity in Star Wars Episode 4, did Republicans seize control of the Senate?

In Episode 4, why are there only two women in the entire galaxy, Princess Lea & Luke's Aunt Beru?

Why is R2d2 basically a home appliance unit in Episode 4 and he can't even overtake a Jawa. In previous episodes he was flying in the air and zapping others.

If Darth Vader is so strong with the force how does he not pick up on Obi Wan and his son's presence in the Millennium Falcon when it is caught in the tractor beam?

How does the creature survive living in the Trash Compactor when Trash is compacted on I assume, a daily basis?

At the end of Episode 4, what exactly was the cover that the Rebel fighters gave Luke. All they did was provide target practice for the tie fighters. Were they unaware that they did not have to fly in a straight line?

Why does Darth Vader only choose two pilots to accompany him as he tries to stop Luke from destroying the Death Star. Surely on the whole Death Star he can find more than two pilots.

Why was there leaps in technology from episodes 1 to 2 to 3 and then decades later we are seeing the same ships and same weapons in episode 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9?

Speaking of Technology, why can't the rebels invest in one hacker in the whole galaxy to attack the empire remotely?

Did you know that some asteroids in the Empire Strikes Back were potatoes. Does this mean that some of the laser beams may have been french fries?

Wizard of Oz

Farm girl from Kansas encounters a tornado, and is whisked away to a magical world with wizards, witches and more.

Many questions are left unanswered.

• Why does the wicked witch keep a bucket of water in her castle. Does the scarecrow keep matches in his house? Does the Tin Man keep a steel compressor in his house?

• There is a witch of the West, a witch of the East and a witch from the North, what happened to the witch from the South?

• So basically Dorothy kills the Wicked Witch of the East, and steals her slippers and all of a sudden Dorothy is good and the Wicked Witch of the West is evil for being angry at Dorothy?

• What are the odds that Dorothy's house kills the Wicked Witch of the East but not a single munchkin? It is a huge house and there were hundreds of munchkins and only one witch.

Its a Wonderful LIfe

Man doesn't realize how valuable his life is until an Angel shows him how life would have been like without him.

Some questions arise:

If George Bailey was never born, he wouldn't have saved his brother, and the Japanese pilots who his brother shot down would still be alive. What about their families?

Speaking of families, the poor teacher's husband was kicked out of his bar because of George. Now he has nowhere to socialize.

Why does George continue to accept his friends money at the end when he has more than enough to cover his debt. Can we say, greedy?

Why are George & Mary allowed to vandalize homes by throwing rocks and breaking windows without any repercussions?

Because of George, Mary broke her record of "Buffalo Gals" which would have gone up in value.

The Phantom of the Opera

Based on a 1910 novel by Gaston Leroux, The Phantom of the Opera tells the tale of a disfigured musical genius who haunts the Paris Opera House. Mesmerised by the talents and beauty of the young soprano Christine, the Phantom lures her as his protégé and falls fiercely in love with her. Questions abound:

Maybe if the residents and cast of the Opera would have had more time to catch the Phantom if they spoke more pithily instead of singing all of the time.

Why does Christine feel so sorry for the Phantom, but shows no empathy for Joseph Buquet who was strangled by the Phantom?

Why does the Phantom have super hero strenght in the play, but in the movie he acts like a mere mortal?

Why does the Phantom were a cape, what purpose does it serve? Speaking of which how does the Phantom keep his outfit so clean living in the lair far below. Does he have a dry cleaning business on the side?

The giant, sparkling chandelier made up of 2,000 crystals, and weighing 600 kilos does not crack into miniscule pieces when falling, how is this possible?

War of the Worlds

Action packed movie from beginning to end. Basic premise is Martians invade planet Earth and Civilization tries to fight back. Questions abound.

How is it that Dr. Clayton Forrester is able to fly a plane, while flying said plane, avoid crashing into Martian Ships and the U.S. Airforce but cannot avoid crashing into a tree?

How is it that all of the world military firepower, including the Atomic Bomb, can't even cause a pinprick of damage to the Martian Ships. But Dr. Clayton Forrester can destroy their Cable and Electronic Eye with a household axe? Additionally, if the Martians are so advanced why does their Cable and Electronic Eye resemble a vacuum cleaner. Speaking of which, the Martians left behind a ton of dirt and debris couldn't they be good stewards of the planet and at the very least convert their Electronic Eyes to vacuum cleaners to tidy up a bit?

Why are coffee and donuts being served at the end of the world? Knowing it is the end of the world wouldn't they serve something better?

Speaking of coffee, why is Major General Mann drinking out of an empty coffee cup, and why is the General only wearing a Khaki hat in an active war zone?

Why can't anyone in the World Militaries think outside the box. If the Martians employ a highly resilient, magnetic energy force field that renders all of humanity's weapons useless, did anyone think to ask if the force field extends toward the bottom? At least try motion sensor land mines. My goodness, you tried the Atomic Bomb but did not think to employ a few land mines?

Very odd that the Martians are so more highly advanced than us Earthlings, yet have the same Earthly colors of Blue, Red & Green on their Electronic Eye.

The U.S. Military can spend billions fighting the Martians and provide an unlimited supply of coffee and donuts, but can't provide Dr. Forrester with a basic police escort to protect his truck filled with vital laboratory equipment and samples. Thus leaving him to be attacked by a mob and have his truck stolen? Come to think of it, how is a mob able to drive a truck and not get vaporized by the Martians who are destroying everything in their path?

Casablanca

An American expatriate Rick runs a club in the Vichy controlled city of Casablanca. Rick must choose between his love for a woman, Ilsa or helping her and her husband, Victor, a Czech resistance leader, escape Casablanca to continue his fight against the Germans. Some questions emerge:

Why is Rick who is soaking wet while the rain pours down at the train station, instantly dry the second he boards the train? Is there some marvelous instant train dryer technology, that Paris has been hiding from the world for years?

So the German army which originally invaded France and most of Europe all of a sudden are okay with accepting transit papers? Who knew maybe the French and Poles should have invested in papers to show the Germans prior to their invasion and the Germans would have been stopped in their tracks with just a wave of these papers.

So Ilsa dumps Rick at the train station, doesn't tell him she was married and when they reunite in Casablanca, Ilsa is giving Rick an attitude and telling Rick that he is not the person she knew in Paris???

Rick states "Of All The Gin Joints In All The Towns In All The World, She Walks Into Mine." Of course she walked into your joint, you Rick have the letters of transit. She would have went to any other joint that had the letters of transit.

Once again the German army that conquered most of Europe in 1942 can't stop Ilsa and her husband from boarding a single unarmed plane?

How different would Casablanca have been if Facebook existed in 1942? Rick would have seen that Ilsa had updated her relationship status to married and is looking forward to flying to Casablanca and Rick's Cafe.

Jaws

A shark terrorizes a local town during summer and must be stopped at all costs. The following questions arise:

Since when is a shark able to roar. Did this special shark figure out a way to acquire vocal cords under water?

So this shark is so smart that it is able to get rid of the barrels and the trap that Quint has set, however he cannot wait until the ship has sunk until he attacks Brody? It is seconds away from sinking. Why not take a break for a few seconds under water and resurface? & for the shark to fall for the old air tank bit, what an embarrassment to Great Whites everywhere, oh, the absolute shame.

Speaking of barrels, there are five yellow barrels on the Orca. After they get the third barrel in the shark, Quint walks past the barrels with his harpoon gun and there are still three barrels left. Does the Orca magically produce barrels out of thin air?

If you need a bigger boat, wouldn't you surmise that you would need a bigger shark cage?

King Kong 1933

Giant Ape discovered on Island, and bought back to New York, where he escapes and causes mayhem in the city. Some questions arise:

While the shipmates were looking for Anne, they encounter all sorts of monsters on the island, however on the way back when Ann & Jack are running away from Kong, not one monster is encountered, how is this possible?

Why can't Kong simply climb over the wall that keeps him corralled inside? To break out, Kong has to smash through the wall??? Kong can climb the Empire State Building, however he can't climb a wall? Unless the natives had some sort of elaborate security device or electrified the wall, I am missing something here.

After Kong was knocked out with gas grenades, how was the crew able to load him onto the ship. The crew didn't anticipate a giant gorilla and there was no crane and food provisions for a gorilla of this size. So how exactly was Kong lifted onto the ship and how was he able to fit upon the ship? What did he consume on the long journey to New York? Kong would have needed dozens upon dozens of bananas.

How are the gas grenades able to knock out a giant gorilla but not a single person who is in the same vicinity of said gorilla?

How is Anne not a victim of friendly fire with planes firing randomly away at Kong on top of the Empire State Building?

How is not a single person hurt when there are thousands of onlookers looking upwards just prior to Kong falling on the sidewalk?

The Sound of Music

Set in Austria in 1938, the musical tells the story of Maria, who takes a job as governess to a large family while she decides whether to become a nun. She falls in love with the children, and eventually their widowed father, Captain von Trapp. He is ordered to accept a commission in the German navy, but he and Maria decide on a plan to flee Austria with the children. Some questions arise:

Why does the audience hiss at the Baroness and cheer for Maria? The Baroness had a nice relationship before Maria came in and broke her up with Captain von Trapp.

Maria uses the von Trapp children, pretending to teach them to dance while all along she is trying to get Captain von Trapp's attention.

Thus Maria hits the trifecta, she uses the nuns, the von Trapp children and the Baroness, all part of her scheme to trap Captain von Trapp under her spell. After all, the song is "How do you solve a problem like Maria" that should have tipped audiences off to her devious intentions.

Superman 1978

Man from Krypton comes to Earth, grows up in Kansas, moves to the big city and saves California from nuclear anihiliation.

Some questions emerge

Why did Superman's parents not build escape pods for everyone's babies. Pretty selfish huh? Also why not give the people on Krypton a choice, live life in a mirror and one day hope to be saved by colliding with an explosion or stay and perish on Krypton. I am sure at least 50% would have opted for the mirror. Instead they only gave the 3 criminals the option.

Speaking of selfishness, what is with Superman going back in time and saving Lois, but not going back in time and saving his Dad? Why not go further back in time and at least stop the missile from hitting California?

So no one in Kansas notices a football kicked a mile high?

What happens in the warm summer months in Metropolis when Clark gets a tan and takes off his glasses? Would not Superman have a tan where his frames once were?

Links

Simulate the Vintage Experience of Channel-Surfing or Stream movies and shows below:

Star Wars

Wizard of Oz

Its a Wonderful LIfe

The Phantom of the Opera

War of the Worlds

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